Helloooo Ottawa

Up at 6 am. Say goodbye to our wonderful billets who have the generosity of heart and incredible wisdom to make us coffee for the road. (They make coffee for us every day, in fact) Drive. Drive. Drive. Gas is 142. Sigh. Pump. Pump. Pump. Tim Horton's. Line up. Egg sandwich and potato which I think is less potato and more just old grease. Drive. Drive. I fall asleep. Russ needs me to talk. He is struggling to keep his eyes open. I wonder why we are doing this. Where are we going. Where will we live in September. What will we do with our lives. I mean, really. If we'll make our tech. If anyone will come to the show tonight. Will we be late for brunch with my sister and family? Will my niece and nephew remember me? What is the point of it all, again? What is our purpose in living? But I don't say this. Instead I put on Neil Diamond, look at our map and tell him "we are almost there". Make the tech. We are 5 minutes late. She is 15. She says she slept in. I want to kill her. But we finish the cues. Poster. Poster. Poster. Flyer people near the site. Flyer (hate myself) flyer (hate myself). Poster. See old friends from tours past. Gang's all here. Try to find breakfast place. Get lost. Get found. Get lost. And then see Ian, Karen, Audrey and Jasper. We made it! Ian even stands on the street and shows us where to park. After brunch, poster the glebe. I find where my sister has been before me as a flyer is already posted up on a bulletin board. I am grateful. Flyer people at cafes. Poster. Flyer. Get back to my sister's. We all sleep (except Ian and Audrey out getting supplies). I could sleep forever. But hear the tentative steps of a 5 year old down the stairs. Russ and I hurry and rehearse transitions and new entrances and exits in their back yard, since the set up of the theatre is totally different. I try to rehearse miming driving a truck. Jasper watches and is very quiet. I look over and he sits in a chair, holding one of our posters above his head with both hands like he is at a hockey game, rooting for his team. He gives suggestions for the show "I think you should exit Center" and sound effects for the geese. Ian and Karen make dinner. Ian BBQ's amazing asparagus and shrimp. We do nothing to help. Instead, finish rehearsing, throw on makeup, sit down to eat. Gorge ourselves. Get up, they insist we leave everything, and head for the show. We feel so well taken care of. Head to the show. Before I leave I tell Jasper I'm nervous. HE says "Don't worry. Just think about me". 10 minutes before show, trying to go over some new stuff. Russ and I are tense. I feel this is no fun. We snap at eachother to move the log here, no here, stop upstaging me, no do it like this. House comes in. Everything goes black. Then, then we let go and have an hour of absolute, no holds barred fun. We get to fall in love again and again on stage. Over and over. The world stops. Everything else is gone. People are laughing. Hard. In what feels like 5 minutes, we are at the end. I wonder if I lost the audience at the end. They are all on their feet. I look, surprised, at Russ and feel so at home, with him, holding his hand, on stage, and I think "I love these people!" I love my husband. I love the audience. I love the stage. I love my life. "Hello Ottawa"!

And tomorrow: Coffee, poster poster poster, flyer (hate myself), flyer (hate myself) Wonder "why am I doing this?" "What is the purpose of life?"....